5 Reasons Why I Don't Think I'm Compatible with a 991

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 01/03/2015 at 13:35 • Filed to: Porsche 911, K-Roll

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K-Roll said WUT? That's right, I said that, the 991 is not the 911 for me and here's why in no particular order. Or is it?

Disclamer: This is MY opinion and MINE alone. Deal with it!

1. I can't see the engine

I've been spoiled by classic 911s, where you could see the metal intake manifold and all the important wear parts you can replace and work on yourself without taking it to the dealer. there's plenty of space to work on things, and you can show off your proud and clean motor at car shows and whatnot!

Of course, the modern trend with modern cars seems to be to replace all the things with composite plastics and cover things up in the name of cost-savings, simplicity, and so people will take their cars to the dealer rather than do things themselves.

The previous 997, while still a cramped space, still has a decent looking engine bay; you can see the shiny intake manifold, and you can still clean it up some and make it look like you give a damn relatively presentable. Now, Porsche is all about engineering excellence that surpasses everyone, so you'd think they'd show off their awesome engines in the 991, but....

No, that's all you get to see of it, just the cover, which features some awesome cooling fans and the displacement, so people will know which one you bought and, yeah...At least you can still add oil and coolant when necessary?

Hell nah, that annoys me, I love looking at engines, it's usually the first thing I look at and take a picture of when I see a car, this doesn't work for me; and also, it's clearly a marketing ploy. When you pop open that engine cover lid, if there's no visible engine, why work on it? It's clearly in place so Porsche can get it's non-enthusiast buyers to go to the dealer to get overpriced for something that usually shouldn't be hard to work on. Then again, given the primary customer base of Porsche these days, perhaps the cover is more to protect the engine than ruin it.

Maybe you can show off the Powerkit on your Carrera S should you want to.

2. The Panamera-ism

If anyone has been following Porsche's design language since the last 911(997), but the 991's interior design cues are heavily inspired by the Panamera; if you don't see it, let me assist you via some visuals:

Here's the 997 GTS, the ultimate expression of the N/A 997, here's the interior:

(Image from Total 911)

This interior is quintessential 911 in every way. It's basic, it's simple, the most prominent feature are the gauges, as they'll tell you everything you'll ever need to know about your car. The radio and creature comforts don't take up much space and aren't a big deal whatsoever. And the shifter is flat on the ground.

Here's the Panamera of the same year(2010):

Now here's the 991 of 2012:

I'm not saying the interior is bad, I've sat in the 991 quite a few times and the interior is the most livable, comfortable, and very posh and luxurious at the same time; but my problem is that it doesn't look any different from the Panamera. As soon as I got nestled in the driver's seat and put my hands firmly on the wheel, I didn't have the feeling that I was sitting in the best 911 ever made, I thought, "gee, this is a what the 928 should feel like if the Panamera was ever made into a two-door luxury coupe". Sure it has the gauges, and the ignition cylinder is on the left side in traditional Porsche fashion, but the 911 doesn't feel like a 911 on the inside. 911s are about simplicity and sportiness, this doesn't convey that to me. The 911 seems to be loosing that thing that separates, or rather, separated it from the rest of the line.

And it's missing one more special thing, what could it be? Oh yeah! a handbrake!!

3. It feels too big

Now this is self-explanatory in a way. Cars are evolving every generation, and by that, I mean they're getting larger and fatter all the time it seems. Porsche has done their best to keep not only the weight down, but the overall dimensions as well; in fact, the 991 is over 100lbs lighter than the 997 while being slightly larger by a couple of inches.

However, and I'm not sure if this is a result of the electric steering, but most reviews I've read, and watched of the 991, and the forum searches have stated that while being lighter, the 991 feels bigger and heavier than the outgoing 997. Of course, this is someone else's opinion rather than my own, but given the consistency of the negative comments in regards to size and handling I've read, there must be some truth to it.

4. The Key

In the name of laziness and technology, almost every car has keyless entry and push-button ignition. While I'll never understand what was so difficult with turning a key, the key is a very integral part of a car, and the 911 itself. Inserting that key on the left side of the steering wheel, and flicking it to the right is simply sublime. Now, the 2012-13 991s still have a separate key, but with 2014-2015, the key is gone, and in it's place, a key fob and a integrated mechanism that functions as the "key"; it's just not the same anymore, but that's what happens when people get lazy and technology improves at the same time.

5. It's not my interpretation of what a 911 should be

To date, I've had some form of experience with every generation of the 911 currently in existence(save for the original 901 car). I think I can say with certainty that the 991, isn't the 911. Before people call BS and prepare the pitchforks and whatnot, let me explain.

All cars evolve, all cars change to adapt and become better suited to the times they are living in; the 911 is no exception. It has traded it's awesome yet outdated air cooled system for contemporary and efficient water cooling, it has traded it's perfect hydraulic steering for more efficient electric steering. However, all of this has in my opinion, culminated in making the 911 something much more different than it's ever been; gone are the days of it being a hardcore driver's car meant to be taken to ragged edge, it's still a sports car, but it seems to be more of a GT(grand tourer) than a sports car. Gone are the days of it being for performance driver's and enthusiasts alike, it is now more of an icon and image of wealth, luxury, and snobbery and doctors and dentist than ever. It gets much unnecessary hate and a negative stigma, but maybe, just maybe, that's the point of image the 911 portrays. With it's rear engine heart and unnatural characteristics compared to other cars, maybe that's the point of the 911, to be the ultimate middle finger to what is "normal" and what is "right", to be different and continue to be stubborn and not conform to the social norms of society; even with it's more contemporary features overall.

It's not my idea of what the 911 should be today, but maybe its the 911's idea of what it should be today and ya know what, it's doing a damn good job doing what it's doing. I started this post with the intention of explaining why this car isn't the 911 for me, but this post has clearly turned into something else. It's turned into a realization, a realization that times change, and while we might not like the change, for better or worse, we have to accept it for what it is, whether we like it or not, and embrace the things that are still there and around that we love the most; because at the end of the day, it's still a car, still a sports car, still a 911 , and that's good enough for me.

It's amazing how opinions can change so quickly, even while your typing up a post.

Was this not the most counter-intuitive post you've read today? :)

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:39

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What about EPS?

Brian Silvestro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:43

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yo dawg Imma let you finish but the GT2RS is the coolest 911 ever made

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 01/03/2015 at 13:44

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Electric Power Steering? I addressed that in my post already.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 13:46

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Hey bruh, I let you finish, but the 996 GT1 Straßenversion is the coolest 911 ever made.

Brian Silvestro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:47

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That doesn't count and you know it!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 13:47

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It's street legal, it counts!

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:49

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My bad, sorry.

Brian Silvestro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:50

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But it's like not even really a 911!!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 01/03/2015 at 13:50

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No worries. :)

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:51

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I feel like a lot of your complaints address the majority of modern sports cars...

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 13:53

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.....Fuck you m8!

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 13:53

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I'm going to stick my neck out and say that's probably a pretty scary thing to put on the limit...

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > itranthelasttimeiparkedit 01/03/2015 at 13:54

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Ya know, I never even really thought about any other sports car, but now that you mention it, this post could almost easily be transposed to just about every other modern sports car!

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 13:56

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I also have a controversial opinion: I prefer the 964s and 996s to the 993s

Classic 911. Note the long and low hood, and upright lights.

The slightly-awkward in-between phase. High hood, unusually grafted modern lights, but classic greenhouse and rear fenders.

The 911 for the modern era. Notice the streamlined lights, seamlessly integrated bumpers, and modern interpretation of the classic greenhouse.

Brian Silvestro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:00

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dem fenders

Brian Silvestro > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 01/03/2015 at 14:00

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This is the main reason I like it so much. The most insane 911 ever.

Flat Six > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:04

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Regarding the engine, I totally agree. The first thing most people ask when you show them your new car is to see the engine. The 997 engine bay is fairly satisfying - people can look at it and think "yeah, that's an engine". The 991 could be electric and you wouldn't know.

The 991 (and 981) is very Panamera, but the Panamera is very Porsche, so it isn't THAT bad. What annoys me about the e-brake is that there isn't a standard. Most manufacturers now use a similar dial for the light switch but there is huge variation for the brakes. Some cars have foot brakes, some of hand brakes, and there is a big variety of electric brakes. If you have more than car sometimes you have to double check if you set it correctly.

The key on the left is classic 911 and it makes you feel special when you put the key over there.

I think Porsche / 911 image and perception depends a lot on where you live. The 996 and 997 are quite affordable now days (as are used Boxsters / Caymans), and are generally in the hands of "normal" folks. Its pretty hard for a non-enthusiast to tell the difference between a 991 and a 997, or that a flashy looking 996 Turbo is 15 years old and less than half the price of a base 991.

PS9 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:06

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I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE

I'M FILING FOR DIVORCE

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PS9 01/03/2015 at 14:06

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WE WEREN'T EVEN TOGETHER M8

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 14:07

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It is best 911 EVAR

Xyl0c41n3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:09

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Great post, K!

Cé hé sin > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:09

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I believe myself incompatible with a 991 too. I also believe myself incompatible with any 911 and am willing to prove this to the first person who donates me a 991 (or any 911) for research purposes.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 01/03/2015 at 14:14

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The 964 is the ultimate expression of classic modernity for the 911. However, the 993 still shares the interior, roof line and dimensions of a classic 911, while at the same time, becoming it's own design with timeless features. The headlights are still raised and give the classic frog-eye appearance head-on The bumpers are fully integrated into the body with no rough edges or lines, the fenders have muscular flares to them. It's a 911 with proper 911 characteristics and then some.

The 996 mostly took that away with a very simple design with 0 flares and anything that really makes it stand out. It's still a looker, especially the '99-01 cars, but I wouldn't prefer it over a 993.

I have two posts on this if you'd like to get some more info on the design language and changes, if you haven't already.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/k-rolls-porsch…

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/k-rolls-porsch…

PS9 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:14

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OH HELL NAW YOU DIDNT JUST PRETEND AWAY 7 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE OUR STATE DOESNT RECOGNIZE OUR LOVE IT DOESNT COUNT? AND DONT THINK I DONT KNOW ABOUT WHAT YOU AND THAT AMERICAN TART HAVE BEEN DOING IN OUR GARAGE! I HAVE VIDEOTAPE!!! THE KIDS AND THE HOUSE ARE MINE AFTER ALL THIS IS DONE!!!!!!!11!!1!1!!!eleven!!!!!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Flat Six 01/03/2015 at 14:19

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The fact that you said that you said "The 991 could be electric and you wouldn't know" is exactly my point with that engine cover.

Yes, the Panamera is very Porsche, but even so, the 911 has always been able to have an interior that looks somewhat different from the rest of Porsche's lineup. My only hope is with the upcoming refresh that should introduce some 918-like design cues into the 911, that it can differentiate itself a little more than it currently is.

The lack of a handbrake on any Porsche right now is very frustrating to me, how else will I do handbrake turns in snowy parking lots? (o_O)

The key is one small, yet very crucial thing that I refuse to let go of.

It's true that the 996 and to an extent, 997s albeit high mileage examples, can be picked up for well below the price of a Honda Civic and Ford Mustang respectively; in fact, I'm counting on it to remain that way for as long as possible so I can afford one myself. Because, while I can appreciate what the 991 has to offer, the 996 and more so the 997 offers me something more than the 991 can ever have.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Cé hé sin 01/03/2015 at 14:21

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I too, would like to be apart of this study group, for science. ;)

JGrabowMSt > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:21

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It has boring doors.

/okayI'mdonenow

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PS9 01/03/2015 at 14:23

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DON'T YOU BRING THE PONY INTO THIS!!

We can talk this out. Leave the children out of this!

They're on vacation right now.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Brian Silvestro 01/03/2015 at 14:25

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If Porsche would just sell the GT2 RS, GT3 4.0 RS*, Carrera GT, and Boxster Spyder for 20 years at reasonable prices! That was their best lineup alongside 1995 with the 928GTS, 968 CS and Turbo S, the 993, and nothing else. Let's just go back to 1995. They even had the start menu to top it all off FFS. And porsche was failing because they had more enthusiasts than bean counters working there.

*which is as fast in a straight line with the 6 speed as a PDK-only 991 GT3 and a more focused track tool

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > JGrabowMSt 01/03/2015 at 14:28

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/endgame

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Xyl0c41n3 01/03/2015 at 14:29

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Thanks FRAND!

03mach1 - Now has a Fiesta ST > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:44

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That was a great post, you brought up some great points.

I will say one thing about keyless ignitions. My mom has a Kia Cadenza with it. You can go up to the car and not have to pull anything out of your pocket, even for the trunk. It's so cool. But turning a key is so satisfying though.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:46

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I'll never understand what was so difficult with turning a key, the key is a very integral part of a car

THIS. SO MUCH THIS. It's not hard to rotate your wrist for what 2-3 seconds to start your car? LAZINESS IS RUINING CARS. At least the Ferrari push start is cool. Key and button on the wheel, it's like a race car. I STILL PREFER TO TURN A KEY LIKE A REAL PERSON

/rant

Xyl0c41n3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 14:49

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Brian Silvestro > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/03/2015 at 14:56

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*cries*

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 03mach1 - Now has a Fiesta ST 01/03/2015 at 14:57

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My FoST is the same. You can open the front doors and trunk without ressing anything on the key, but I do miss having to turn something, why not have both?

I believe Bentley or Rolls Royce has cars that you can either push a button or turn a key, whichever you please.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Xyl0c41n3 01/03/2015 at 15:01

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Axial > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 15:08

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Solution if wanting new Porsche: buy Cayman.

The 911 could disappear and I wouldn't care, because the Cayman is way more desirable to me. I like its size, the way it looks, the power-to-weight, and pretty much everything about it.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Axial 01/03/2015 at 15:16

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I will concede that tha Cayman is in essence the new 911 and everything the 911 used to be sans the rear engine, and thus the better buy, the 911 simply will not die in such a way, if ever.

MysticStick > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 15:19

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Wow. 'Check it out dude, I got the POWERKIT!'

Axial > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 15:44

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Oh, I know the 911 will stick around. I'm just saying that if for whatever freak reason it didn't, I wouldn't miss it.

Also, not sure I like the current all-black Porsche steering wheel in any of their cars. Looks kinda '90s and not in a good way.

No Prius Needed > PS9 01/03/2015 at 16:43

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HE WAS MINE FIRST BUT THEN YOU TOOK HIM FROM ME!

Flat Six > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 21:55

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I can't disagree... I love my (high mileage) 997!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Flat Six 01/03/2015 at 22:36

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Say wah? A 997 owner under my radar? ON Oppo?? IMPOSSIBURU!!

Hello there fine human! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CAR!! :D

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/03/2015 at 23:15

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Yep. I've slowly been moving backwards on cars because of all the gadgetry. I had a 2013 at one point, getting rid of my 2006 now. I now have a 2002 540i that is probably the sweet spot (for me,) of gadgets. I have a 91 325i also though that will be perfect once I remove the power steering. AC/heat, stereo and ABS...

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > itranthelasttimeiparkedit 01/03/2015 at 23:18

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I'm probably going to do the same, albeit the fact that I'm gonna make a few exceptions to the rule(2015 Mustang, 2015 Cayman GTS), I think the highest I'll go is about 2012 and no higher.

Flat Six > MysticStick 01/03/2015 at 23:52

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And it is exclusive!

Flat Six > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/04/2015 at 00:11

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:)

2006 Carrera 3.6L with Midnight Blue exterior, Sand Beige interior, and 6 speed.

Here is a pic a buddy snapped of it from outside of his NSX :)

It is not an S but it has red calipers. I'm fine with the smaller engine.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Flat Six 01/04/2015 at 00:44

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I want your car pls. :)

Midnight blue is gorgeous, and it goes excellently with a tan interior! And the base wheels look great as well, never see those ever, and they look great! The base engine would be enough for me as well I think; going faster while slower and under the speed limit! :D

Flat Six > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/04/2015 at 01:05

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Thanks so much! Its really the perfect car for me. I like simple 5 spoke wheels. I can hardly get out of third gear on my normal routes, I couldn't imagine what to do with a Turbo. Come for a ride if you are ever in Austin.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Flat Six 01/04/2015 at 01:12

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I don't think I could handle a Turbo for more than 2 minutes, and it's no because I'll be going sideways into a tree. :p

If only I was closer to the south in general. :(

I'm a northerner, Michigan is my home, it seems every Porsche owner on Oppo is far away from me: Texas, California, New York(granted it isn't the worst or furthest drive, but still a day away.). I do however appreciate the offer greatly. :)

THOMAS5 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/04/2015 at 23:18

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I know what you mean. My dad bought a 2006 997s in grey with a stick a few days ago and it is perfect.